The Forks in the Roads (part 1)
Have you ever stopped to think about all the true forks in your life? A fork, in this case, is a true alternate course that your life would have taken had you chosen differently? Would it be better, would it be worse?
My Forks
I remember at least three very distinct different forks where I chose my path forward. Had I gone an alternate way, my life, I imagine would have been significantly different. Stop for a second and think about it. How many forks are in your path of life? Similar to my first, I imagine that many of us would see the end of high school/college as one of them.
This is a time of true decision. There is no more question of what you will be when you got bigger, you are bigger and are on the precipice of the start of your adult life. You likely had already decided your major, or trade and were head strong decided on what you would do. But, is that really the fork? No, this is you executing the decision that you had already made. So…where was it? Perhaps a/many change(s) in majors or the realization that you hate what you are doing. You act in change — the fork.
The First
I was on my way to completing my Pre-Med Chemistry degree and was headed to Medical school a year later. From the age of twelve I knew my destiny was to be a pediatric surgeon. My path was clear. But then something happened. I looked up and realized I hated Chemistry and had no desire any longer to be a doctor. My search began. I had known for so long what my future was going to be that when I knew it was no longer what I wanted I felt lost. There were no other ideas and certainly no options. My drive to complete school waned to the point that I dropped out to save the money. Had I stayed I would have been spending money on classes to try to discover what I might be interested in. My wallet could not afford the luxury.
On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I was fortunate to meet with my mom and grandmother for lunch while I was in school. Normally it was praiseworthy. After all, I was going to be a doctor. My family would be congratulated for raising a girl with such aspirations and goals.
I was about to disappoint my extended family. I knew they would be devastated but to what degree I did not know. So, on a Friday, during our scheduled lunch, I decided to make my declaration. I was dissatisfaction and had a change of plan. Well, you can imagine how that went. My mom sat in silence while I was reprimanded by the matriarch, my grandmother. Not only had I disappointed her, I was about to shame her. She announced to me that I was going to move to Maryland and never finish school and likely get pregnant and destroy my life… WOW!
I was angry. I was crushed. I was wounded to the core.
All that was heard was that I was leaving school and that I would never be a doctor. So what. I knew what I was doing! I wasn’t leaving to never come back, I was leaving to find myself. I couldn’t understand how I had become such a disappointment in the blink of an eye. But there I was sitting with a pizza in front of me wanting to crawl within myself while also wanting to scream out loud to be understood. My voice was mute.
I left lunch all the more determined to execute my plan. I would leave, get a job, and try to find myself and future plan. And, believing in myself, that is exactly what I did. I withdrew from all my classes in the fall, packed up and moved to Beverly…Hills that is…black gold and texas tea…I digress. I moved to Catonsville, Maryland. I looked in the want ads and started applying to miscellaneous, random jobs. I got two. I sold Olan Mills photo packages through cold calling, and conducted inventories in grocery stores. Nothing special but I was out there making a living and in the evenings I was thinking about the future. I had given myself a timeline of seven months to figure it out. I was going back to school, not pregnant to do something, I just needed to figure it out…
